(Without editing, I hate to re-read and edite it again)
I marked my calendar on 15th of April, that I think it is my last chance to see and send you off to U.K. However, I believed that you will not be happy by seeing me and you already had your what you called Mr. Right to send you off. And I don’t want to shed tear in front of you and I don’t want your new relationship be interrupted by my present of your past. I really hate to see you with him, but he makes you more happy than me. I hate to see you with him but, he maybe could bring you on holiday to place where you want. I hate to see you with him, but may be he already had what you want and I am just at the starting point to building it. And I believe that your Mr. Right will help you to heal your headache and improve your dark moods.
You have not told me the reasons and I am still waiting for the answer that you left me. And you are the only that made me question that were I that worthless? Have you seen my effort? Or may he proposed you first and what you said and promised is just a way of diplomatic that u didn’t want me to be upset.
And I deserved all of it and I knew my weakness that i were unable to make stay with me. It is all painful lessons and it taught me a lot towards relationship. ” Feeling is Feeling “. And you told me that ” You cannot force your feeling to have feeling on me even we had been hang out quite often for a whole year “.
I really appreciated the time we had spent together. But we will never get back together again. You are now with your Mr. Right. And I am now building my ground.
“Don’t hate me, if I miss you sometimes”.
I hope your Mr. Right text you”Good morning, and Good Night, ah oun Gee” like I did for whole year.
Wish you and your new journey very best of luck. 🙂
I reblogged this article, because i feel so related by hoping i will get rid off these negative feelings.
1. You push people away. You always push people away, you let them in just enough then when you feel things getting too real and too close you start to push them away. You start to find their flaws and you capitalize on them in your head.
2. You say no. You say no to dates or you say yes then secretly hope they cancel, and if they don’t you will. You don’t want to put yourself in a position where you could make a fool out of yourself because you really don’t like putting your heart out there.
3. You think you’re unlovable. You convince yourself there is no way anyone could like you and that if they do it’s probably only for a certain amount of time before they find out your flaws and leave.
4. You make excuses for why you can’t do things. You always have excuses ready, maybe it’s that he’s too short or he’s too skinny or any absolutely ridiculous line that you constantly tell yourself. You find things that are totally fine then convince yourself there’s something wrong with them because that way you can just forget about them and you don’t have to be the one who is getting their heart broken.
5. You talk yourself down. You don’t give yourself the credit you should because you really just don’t want the attention. You just want to keep to yourself so that no one can really get to know you because that way it hopefully won’t hurt as bad when they walk away.
6. You shut off your heart. Even if the right person is standing in front of you, you will convince yourself there is something wrong with them or you will convince them there’s something wrong with you.
7. You turn into someone you’re not. You say you like things you hate; you say you hate things you love. You get all jumbled up and you start to even confuse yourself because you lose yourself in the person. You start to turn into a person you don’t like because you don’t know how else to handle the situation, which ultimately leads you to drive them away.
8. You use Tinder or other online dating sites. When you’re online “dating” you’re not really putting your heart out there, you’re hiding behind your phone screen in the comfort of your own home without being face to face with a person. It makes you feel safer, but you still like the attention.
9. You pretend you’re not vulnerable. Vulnerability is a strength, but you cover it up when you’re in a situation where someone could possibly like you. You pretend you’re strong and cold, you pretend to be the ‘cool girl’ because you think they won’t like you for you. But you’re wrong, you’re just scared to open your heart and let them fall in love with the real you because that would make things complicated.
10. You make up a lot of scenarios in your head. You’re scared of new love, but you still envision it. There are times you plan out conversations in your head, you convince yourself you’re in love with a stranger and you imagine the place you might meet your soulmate. It messes with your mind which ultimately makes you believe that none of it is realistic and you’re life will never be like you make it out to be in your head.